THE LIBERAL -DEMOCRAT ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT AMNESTY

Once again we find ourselves in the Political Party conference season. This week finds the Liberal-Democrat Party on a charabanc trip to Brighton for their annual beano-by-the-sea, and I feel that it will be particularly memorable for producing one of the most ridiculous ideas I have heard in many years. Party spokesperson Nick Clegg has announced plans to allow illegal immigrants in Britain who have been here for ten years or more the opportunity to come clean and apply for citizenship. That of course is providing that they can prove that they have been in Britain for ten years, that they are fluent in the lingo, and that they have no criminal record!

Anybody entering a country illegally is committing a crime and is entitled to a free membership of the "Illegal League" with immediate effect, and anyone who has managed to stay under the radar for ten years is going to have committed a lot of other crimes along the way. If they have a genuine reason for being in this country they would have gone through the correct channels in the first instance instead of disappearing into the netherworld. An illegal immigrant isn't going to have any proof of how long they have been in the country because they don't exist here. The whole idea is totally ridiculous and unworkable.

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  Many of these immigrants will have been working illegally and not paying any tax or national insurance. Are they going to be immune from prosecution when resident nationals are being prosecuted for the same offence?


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  How many of these immigrants will have been claiming benefits they are not entitled to receive, under false identities? Will they be immune from prosecution for this, perhaps?


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  How many of these immigrants are currently driving round using false documentation and false identities? Is this another case of immunity from prosecution?

I have a much better idea than the one being put forward by the Liberal-Democrat Party. Why don't we round up the illegal immigrants that are clogging up this country and deport them, like any other country would do? Send them back where they came from, and while we're at it lets send the loony Lib-Dems with them. Nobody votes for them because policies like this one make them unelectable, so they won't be missed. It's time to get back control of our borders and control of our country from Brussels, maybe then we would have a chance of stemming the tide of illegal immigrants flowing into Britain. Then perhaps we wouldn't have the need for idiot proposals like an illegal immigrant amnesty.

N.B. Strangely enough, the one thing that hasn't been stipulated as a requirement to apply for citizenship is education, but when you consider that the average Lib-Dem wears jumpers with leather elbow patches, and slip-on shoes to avoid the embarrassing shoe lace problem maybe it comes as no surprise.

Lloyd-George must be turning in his grave.

CHRISTMAS IS COMING...

I have just been down to the local Co-Op to get some veggies for tonight's dinner. Nothing unusual there you might say to yourself, but here comes the punch. It is only the beginning of September and the kids have been back at school three days after the summer hols, and already the boxes of Christmas chocolate have hit the shelves. I don't want to be stared at by thousands of pictures of Father Christmas stacked up at the tills at this time of the year. We haven't had bonfire night yet, the conkers are still on the trees, summer is only just rolling to a close for chrissakes!! Christmas should be banned from shops until December 1st.

BAD TASTE FROM YAHOO UK

I have just been onto Yahoo UK to look at their news pages and found something particularly crass and insensitive. The page covering the death of Luciano Pavarotti has an advert flashing away for a new film called "Run Fatboy, Run".

Somebody either has no brains between their ears, or else they knew exactly what they were doing and they're taking the piss. Either way it is in pretty poor taste and someone should be sacked.

Thoughtless, tactless, tasteless, crass. Anybody else want to add to the list?

Bad call YAHOO dudes!

YOUTH ON THE ROAD

There have been rumblings recently about raising the age to hold a driving license in the UK to eighteen years. Whilst I personally consider this to be a good thing I don't believe it actually goes far enough.

For many years now motorcyclists in this country have been restricted to the size of "horse" they can ride after passing a driving test, in a bid to reduce motorcycle related accidents with inexperienced riders who are riding bikes that are just way beyond their current level of control. If the D.O.T. want to really change the rules for people driving cars on new licenses then this is surely the way to go. It is ridiculous that a seventeen year old whippersnapper can pass a driving test in a car with a 1200cc engine and then go out and buy something with a 3000cc twin turbo V6 which is totally beyond their minimal driving experience. It is time that probationary drivers were restricted to the size of vehicle they can drive, just the same as a motorcyclist. I would also consider changing the rules with regard to buses and trucks making it essential to have several years of road experience before being able to hold a PSV or HGV license. It beggars belief that someone can go from 950kg of car to 38000kg of articulated truck in one leap. It's no better than handing a child a BB gun and swapping it ten minutes later for an AK47 with a full magazine and no safety catch.

I've been driving for eighteen years and most of my friends and family would rather travel with me driving than with anybody else, but I'm still learning things every day. I've just got my first 4WD and I can go places I've never been with a vehicle before, but I've had to learn to drive again because it's a totally different driving experience. The real problem with obtaining a driving license is that everybody believes that they are learning to drive and they're not; they are learning to pass a driving test. Nobody learns to drive until the test has been passed and they're let loose to jostle for position on the road with all the others who desperately need to make a gargantuan effort to be in front of everybody else and twenty yards further down the road. Crazy, crazy, crazy.

ENDEAVOUR SHUTTLE - STS118

Just watched the launch of Shuttle STS118 (Endeavour) live on NASA TV. I haven't watched a Shuttle launch on live TV for absolutely years and watching it on-line at NASA.gov was a great new experience. It is amazing to think that the Shuttle program has been in orbit now for some 26 years, and despite the various setbacks along the way it is hard to believe that the Sun is about to set on the Shuttle program. I watched the first Shuttle launch on Tv from behind my desk at school and watching this most recent launch raised the adrenalin level a few degrees.

What an absolutely awesome ride! Eight minutes to Earth orbit and the ride of your life is worth paying for in my book. The pictures shot from the main tank camera showing Earth receding into the distance were fantastic and it reminded me of watching the film taken from the Saturn 5 launches of the Apollo program, pictures that will probably be seen again in the coming years when NASA gets the Orion project off the launchpad. It will be a sad day when the last Shuttle flight touches down because I feel that Orion is a backward step. Orion doesn't have the functionality of the Shuttle and it doesn't have the heavy lift capability of the Shuttle. NASA is going to have to rely on 1960's Russian technology for at least five years after the last Shuttle touches down whilst it recrafts its own 1960's technology to go back to the Moon and to reach out towards Mars. Retiring the Shuttle is a mistake that could prove to be very costly in the years to come, paticularly if the ISS were to develop a major problem. I sincerely hope that someone at NASA has the balls to stand up and be counted, and reverse the decision to ground the Shuttle. It still has a place and a function in the exploration of Space.

I'M STILL HERE...!!!

Hi people. I'm not posting regularly at the moment due to lack of time. I have two family members in hospital suffering from different things (one quite serious) and other family to look after which is consuming every spare minute of the day. stay faithful and i'l be back soon. Thanks for reading.... Oscar.

ALL CHANGE PLEASE...

I'll be honest, I was sorry to see Blair leaving Downing Street yesterday (27th June 2007). In spite of some of the gaffes he made during his ten years in office I quite liked the guy. The people who regarded him as Bush's poodle should remember that there is a bit of the British Bulldog inside all of us here in Blighty. It is highly probable that Bush would have nuked Iran, Iraq, and Afghanistan off the face of the planet if Blair hadn't been stood behind him holding the leash. There are some amongst us who probably think that is no bad thing and I would be lieing if I said I hadn't considered it an option on a couple of occasions but there is a right way to do things. That is not to say that the right things were done but then I don't believe in appeasement either. It is right that Blair should become the Middle East Peace Envoy. He is for my money probably the greatest Statesman that this country has seen since Winston Churchill and I hope that history eventually treats him kindly.

It is worth noting that the Middle East was a British problem since the Balfour Declaration of 1917 which paved the way for a Jewish homeland in Palestine, and didn't the British Government obtain control of Iraq from the League of Nations at the end of the First World War? I seem to recall from my school history lessons that British troops were involved in the ongoing struggle between the Turks and the Arabs (also during the First World War), which gave one T.E. Lawrence fame as Lawrence of Arabia. The Americans have been trying to resolve the issues in the Middle East for as long as I can remember. It is time for a British Statesman to have a go at sorting it out; we did foul it up after all, rather like we fouled up Northern Ireland and we are talking about the same person who managed to set things on the right path out there. Give the Man a break.

On a different tack, 10 Downing Street is now under the control of a Stalinist control freak with delusions of grandeur and OCD. Gordon Brown has no mandate from the British public to sit in the seat of power that he now occupies. It is bad enough that we are funding the Scots to the tune of around 5000 pounds a person and that Scottish MP's are allowed to vote on matters of state that only affect England. Everything that we have to pay for the Scots get for free. The Scots already have their own First Minister sitting in their own parliament. They don't need another one sitting in the English Parliament. It is time for a change in the Law so that if a sitting Prime Minister resigns his or her a position the reigning Monarch has to dissolve Parliament and call for a General Election. There is something very wrong when someone can assume the ultimate position of authority in this country unopposed and unelected.

Go back to Scotland Gordon. We don't need you this side of the border.

A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.

Many years ago, a British comedian called Tony Hancock broadcast a sketch called The Blood Donor on a BBC Radio programme called Hancock's Half Hour. This coming Friday(1/6/2007) a Dutch television station, BNN, are going to broadcast a live show called The Big Donor. The trouble is that this show is anything but comedic in its content. It is very real and it is the latest creation from reality TV producers Endemol who brought us Big Brother, which is about to start its eighth series in the UK despite the controversy surrounding the recent celebrity edition of the show.

The Big Donor is television at its very worst and BNN claim to be broadcasting it as tribute to station founder Bart de Graaf who died of kidney failure five years ago, and also to highlight the challenges of finding donor organs for transplant. A 37 year-old woman with a terminal illness is to choose a recipient for her kidneys from three patients awaiting transplant surgery, and her choice will be aided by the public who will be able to send text messages in to the show (duration 80 minutes) to "advise" her on her choice. This kind of TV beggars belief! Two people in need of transplant surgery are going to end the evening knowing that their chance of finding a donor match may have passed them by and that they may not get another chance at being able to live a normal healthy life. I'm surprised that Endemol and BNN haven't arranged for the transplant surgery to be done on live TV when the time comes, or maybe an eight week long reality bonanza aired three times a day to enable the public to watch the 37 year-old donor as her life ebbs away.

I cannot believe that the donor is being given the power to make a decision about who is to receive her kidneys on her passing. The only persons qualified to make this decision are the doctors and the surgeon who will do the transplant, and there is still no guarantee that the recipient's body will not reject the organs at a later date. Instead, we will see a decision based on anything and everything but the medical needs of the intended recipients, and a decision that should be made in private, not aired to a nation on live TV. Endemol and BNN are playing God with the lives of four people, exercising the power of Life and Death in the name of informative entertainment, and they are overstepping the mark by a country mile. Endemol in particular have been pushing the boundaries of what is acceptable in television and I personally feel that this time they have really gone too far. I don't pretend to know anything about either Dutch or International Law, but as far as I know, the trading of human body parts for transplant is illegal. Endemol will certainly profit financially from this programme, the only question is whether they can be seen to be profiting from a trade in human body parts, and whether anyone in a position of authority will do anything about it.

With the new series of Big Brother starting today (30/05/2007) in the UK I would suggest that all contestants beware. Viewers may be asked to vote on which body parts are to be removed from the contestants prior to their respective evictions from the Big Brother House. Anything is possible where Endemol are concerned. They are certainly not strangers in the Broadcasting Regulator's office and I'm sure that they already have their next appointment booked. With the furore of the racism row surrounding the recent celebrity edition of Big Brother still hanging in the air it is possible, just possible, that Endemol have sewn the seeds of their own destruction. Tonight they will make the first of three public apologies about the celebrity edition, not because they want to but because the Regulator has stamped his foot and told them to do so. I suspect that they may be the first of many. Endemol should have no place in television and the best way to vote is by switching channels.

CUTTY SARK

I was appalled yesterday (21/05/07) morning when I turned on Sky News to see the pictures of Cutty Sark ablaze in her dry dock at Greenwich, in London. I grew up in London and have been on board the ship several times, and she had been a regular part of my childhood as I crossed the River Thames between Woolwich and Greenwich. At that time Sir Francis Chichester's yacht Gypsy Moth IV was on display nearby. It is perhaps fortunate that it is no longer there, otherwise that might have burned as well.

It is strange that with all the strife in the world that is broadcast on rolling news channels that the loss of Cutty Sark has hit me quite hard. Watching the ship burning on TV was quite an upsetting experience and it has left me feeling like a part of me has died. I hope the fire was an accident and not Arson as the police think it may have been. If somebody fired this piece of history I hope they are proud of what they have done. The picture on the front of today's TIMES (22/05/07) of the burned out hull shows just how devastating the fire was. It is fortunate that a large part of the ship's timbers, the masts and rigs, and parts of the superstructure including fixtures like the figurehead had been removed as part of the restoration project that had been started six months ago. At least these will survive to go back into the ship if it can be rebuilt.

The only other surviving example of a tea clipper like Cutty Sark is the City of Adelaide, which has been left to rot on a slipway at the Scottish Maritime Museum, Irvine, Ayrshire, for the last 16 years. I have to say that it is very coincidental that a meeting is to take place next week in Edinburgh with regard to dismantling City of Adelaide due to failure to secure the necessary funding (10M Pounds) to restore the ship. The loss of both ships within a week would just be too much and herein lies a problem. The money in the restoration fund for Cutty Sark would restore City of Adelaide which is now probably a more viable proposition. City of Adelaide was still afloat up until 1990 when she sank at her moorings. The ship was salvaged and left on the slipway where she still stands today. The trouble is that City of Adelaide doesn't have the same heritage as Cutty Sark. The cost of repairing Cutty Sark is now going to increase by at least 5M Pounds, and that is assuming that the iron hull is salvageable from what is left in the dry dock at Greenwich.

The vision for the future of Cutty Sark was a good one. I just hope that the ship still has a future and that it can be rebuilt for the enjoyment of future generations, just as I enjoyed it as a child. The icing on the cake would be for funding to become available to restore City of Adelaide as well. 10M Pounds is a drop in the proverbial ocean when you consider the amount of money that changes hands for football clubs and players. Someone out there has the money to save these two ships for the Nation. It would be even better to see City of Adelaide made seaworthy again and sailed in the Tall Ships Race that bears Cutty Sark's name.

Somebody make it happen.

CABLE SHOPPING CHANNEL JARGONBUSTER

If you really want one of these you need to get on the phone now because we don't have many left.

Somebody please phone in and order one, we've got shed loads left in the warehouse!!

I've actually got one of these shirts myself...

I wouldn't be seen dead in this you Saps!

These jumpers are really great. I'd buy one of these and wear it myself.

This is the ugliest piece of clothing I've seen in ages.

This is an absolutely stunning, stunning gold ring!

My kid got a better looking ring than this out of a bubblegum machine last week.

A wonderful Californian white wine, ideal with outdoor food at this time of year.

OK to put on your chips or to clean the BBQ but don't drink it!

The quality of this Bathroom Suite is absolutely perfect.

What a load of old shite...!!

This is an incredibly stylish piece of jewellery.

This is what a tacky piece of Chav Bling looks like ...

What an amazing use of color in these Bedding Sets. They will really bring the room to life.

This will make your bedroom look like an explosion in a paint factory.

Follow me over here with the camera and we'll take a look at our next item. I'm actually very excited about this piece.

Come over here with me. I've got another dead horse to flog before we go off air at midnight.

This really is one of the most sturdy and robust bedside cabinets I've ever seen on Bargain Basement TV.

It won't last long, but so long as it doesn't fall to bits before the money-back guarantee expires we don't care!